• Robin W. Stebbins

Find Yourself, Find the Center of the Universe…


My son and I love to watch science shows on space. Recently we saw a fascinating program on black holes and the universe. The scientist explained that no matter where you are, at any given point you are the center of the universe. Think of the universe as an empty balloon with dots on it, which represent stars and galaxies. If you blow up the balloon the dots move further away from any dot you pick, and closer to it if the balloon deflates. So scientifically speaking, you are the center of the universe.

This isn’t a way for your ego to roar up, to dominate and rule the galaxies, but a example of just how important each and everyone of us is at any given moment. When we feel less than, it is the stories we tell ourselves and the meaning we derive from it that causes the suffering. Not that avoiding suffering is the goal, that is as impossible as trying to “fix yourself”. The way through suffering and pain is to unconditionally love yourself and then the pain lets you go, never the other way around. If you don’t believe me try to not think about a blue giraffe. Keep telling yourself over and over not to think about it and it is exactly where your mind goes. But if you allow your heart to feel into what you dream of the blue giraffe thought will let you go.

What happens when we get off track, head away from our authentic self and path to our true North? Your authentic self slowly disappears. This is similar to what would happen if you went into a black hole. Scientists explain that if you were drifting through space and were pulled into a black hole several things would occur. The first is that as you approached the event horizon those watching would see you slowly fade over several hours. It would be imperceptible at first until eventually you would completely disappear. I see this happening over and over as my clients reveal the how they have slowly over time lost sight of their happiness, passion and love of life. They have put their heads down, followed the course society and cultural norms have set and realized they are deeply unhappy and feel completely disconnected. In this place it can seem impossible to find your happiness, your spark, your dream life.

The solution? Fill yourself up with what you love. Completely. Start slowly, like building a muscle at the gym, you start with low weights, take a day or two off and gradually increase. The same goes for building and living your dream life. Start with something small, like signing up for a painting class or looking online for a job closer to your home. It has to be small fun steps that feel ridiculously easy. Otherwise you are just adding more to do’s to an already burdensome list. A favorite quote that helps to inspire not scare me, “Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life? —Mary Oliver. This moment, what is one beautiful thing you can do for yourself, one small step towards your dream…


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