How do you know when you have transcended your wounds vs. staying stuck in the past or wishing for a different future? I had been working on myself with the same fervor that I have applied to all other parts of my life, almost as if I could strong arm my way to enlightenment. The problem with this energy is that it is not only tiresome but also ineffective. There is no finish line, or “there” but just a subtle sense of peeling off layers to uncover more and more of my true self.
In my coaching practice I can only really coach someone on issues I have personally transcended. But how do I know when I have reached the other side? For me, it was feeling powerless to certain behavoirs, watching myself fall into the same pattern time after time, not know how to change. There is a great quote by Portia Nelson that is a fun way to visualize the process:
“I walk down the street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I fall in. I am lost... I am helpless. It isn't my fault. It takes forever to find a way out. I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I pretend I don't see it. I fall in again. I can't believe I am in the same place. But, it isn't my fault. It still takes me a long time to get out. I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I see it is there. I still fall in. It's a habit. My eyes are open. I know where I am. It is my fault. I get out immediately. walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I walk around it. I walk down another street.” Portia Nelson
I have helped lots of clients loose weight with some easy quick start nutrition plans and fun ways to exercise, but it will always become and loose gain senecio until we go after and heal the wounds that need attention. Once we get at the root or in some cases roots, the weight falls away almost effortlessly. My clients seem to always say the same thing “this just seems to easy” as though it needs to be hard and grueling to feel success.
What is it that is holding you back? What areas in your life do you feel powerless and like someone else is in control? This is where coaching comes in. I think of it more as wayfinding. Only you know the answers, and only you are the expert on you. I come in and use 100’s of evidenced based coaching tools to allow you to get in and uncover the limiting beliefs that are keeping you stuck. And then you will know when you have transcended and come back into your authentic self.
This is why I love coaching. I love to see others transcend and see the authentic beautiful person they are meant to be come into light. And we walk down a different street.